Sunday, November 16, 2014

That I Would Not Wish To Bea* Cis

that I would not wish to be cis
that I would not wish to fit in every job application or bathroom
that I would not like to be normal

that I would not like to walk down the street
and never be looked at twice
never the object of attention
be its cause curiosity
admiration
or hate
never feel completely safe

that I would not choose to be masculine
and manly
and butch
if I could
nor have breasts
and a vagina beneath
and thus match that
which I feel in a
way that would
make them happy
that I would not choose
if I could
to be happy
always

that despite the increased chances of a forthcoming gravestone
be it either by suicide or murder
but regardless too young

and despite the unlikelihood of climbing Mount Roraima
or bathing in the Nile
or marrying
or just going on a date

that I would never wish to be cis
that I would not wish to pack up my pearls
and suffocate inside of a windsor
that I will always choose trans

that I will ever always wish to understand life
from a position of less than
that I will ever want to watch the news and just
know why its injustices are unjust

that I will always fight upwards
that I will always work hard
that I will always forge families in unlikely living rooms
that I will always live true
that I will always be made strong by necessity
that I will always mend upon breaking
and that my porcelain cracks will always be
that which makes me beautiful
that I will know and feel this deeply
always
and forever

that I will

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