Wednesday, March 5, 2014

how to bea* an ally

After putting so much hard work of answering literally SO many questions on my gay male OKCupid profile, I decided to keep it after coming out as trans.  I added a sentence at the very top of my profile in which I very explicitly disclaim my actual identity and shame on OKCupid for not having more diverse gender and sexuality options.

I realized, eventually, that I could be limiting myself from a whole population of people that might grow to love me, and so created a second profile as a straight female, again disclaiming my actual identity and shaming naughty OKCupid for being so conservative in its ideas about these issues.

Neither of my profiles get a lot of traffic, probably because most people would be too uncomfortable dating/being attracted to/loving a trans person.  However, I did get the friendliest of messages this morning:
"I'm not into trans ladies. I'm throwing that out there. I'm messaging you to say that it sucks that people would discriminate against you or anyone else in the LGBT community. The country did it to black people before you, irish, people before them, and italians before them. It is really sad. All I can think about when the topic is that people have foegotten the sting if oppression. On behalf of all reasonable , accepting people In the world, I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how the world sees you. I'm sorry for how the world treats you. Good luck to you, young lady. I hope you lead a wonderful life"
Apart from a couple grammatical/syntactical issues and what initially seemed like a hostile opening two sentences, it very much soothed me to read such understanding and support from a perfect stranger.

Go humanity.

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